An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.

The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, ''I was going to park there!''

The man was a real smart aleck and he said, ''That's what you can do when you're young and quick.”

Well this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes.

The young man ran back to his car and asked, ''What did you do that for?''

The little old lady smiled and told him, ''That's what you can do when you're old and rich!''

Donald: I’d like to tell you a joke about the measles, but I’d better not.

Mike: Why not?

Donald: You know how those things spread.

Sunday School Teacher: Okay class... who can tell me what are some different names used when talking about God?

Boy: Hallowed!

Sunday School Teacher: Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer?

Boy: It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name....

It was the man’s first trip by airplane. He was frightened and nervous. As the engines began to roar, he gripped the arms of his seat, closed his eyes, and counted to one hundred.

When he opened his eyes he looked out of the windows. “See those tiny people down there,” he said to the woman sitting next to him, “don’t they look like ants?”

“They are ants,” the woman said. “We haven’t left the ground yet.”