Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?
Waiter: No sir, round.
Teacher: Are you good in history?
Little Johnny: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history.
Boyfriend: I will never lie to you, dear.
Girlfriend: How sweet!
Boyfriend: Now you tell me a lie.
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''
The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''
Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''
The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''
Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''
''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''
Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”