Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

‘No, just leave it in the carton!’

Paul: What are you making?

Arthur: A brilliant new invention.

Paul: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Arthur: Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Edison, they laughed at Bell, they laughed at Geck.

Paul: Who's Geck?

Arthur: You mean you never heard of Charles Geck?
.
Paul: No, what did he invent?

Arthur: Nothing, but they sure laughed at him.

A guy walks into a Wedding Reception.

He goes up to the Bartender and asks, "Is this the punch-line?"

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.