An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes.”
“And what would your friend have?”
“Nothing,” replied the antelope.
The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?”
“Hey, if he were hungry,” said the antelope, “would I be sitting here?”
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!
Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment?
It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!
Duck #1: "Quack."
Duck #2: "Quack."
Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."
Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.
Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"
Duck #1: "He knew too much."