In a courtroom, where tensions are high...

Judge: Order! Order in the court!

Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye.

After five long years, I’ve come up with the best clock joke ever…

…it’s about time!

Dentist: "This will hurt a little."

Patient: "Okay."

Dentist: "I've been sleeping with your wife for a year now."

The meal in the restaurant was awful. The diner asked to see the manager. When the manager came, the diner said, “I want to compliment you on your very clean kitchen.”

“Clean kitchen?” the manager asked. “Have you seen our kitchen?”

“No,” the diner replied. “But it must be clean because all the food tastes like soap.”