“You need glasses,” the eye doctor said.

“I’m already wearing glasses,” replied the patient.

“In that case,” the doctor said, “I need glasses.”

Are you a campfire?

Cause you are hot and I want s'more!

Restaurant Server: Would you like a table near the window, or near the salad bar, or near the dance floor?

Man: It doesn't matter... as long as it's near a waiter!

Apparently, this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog.

My bad dude, my bad...