Mr. Maxey was visiting his lawyer to discuss how unreasonable his wife was being.

Lawyer: "What were you and your wife fighting about this time?"

Mr. Maxey: "I pointed out that she was trying to drive a nail in the wall with a hair brush. Is this any reason to get mad?"

Lawyer: "Is that all you said?"

Mr. Maxey: "Well, I just suggested that she would have better luck using her head."

2 Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Mustang east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, Sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied, "Forget it, he's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

My ex-wife was on vacation in New Orleans and sent me a picture of one of the famous cemeteries with the graves above ground...

The caption read: "WISH YOU WERE HERE!"

I was choking on carrots and all I could think of was, "I bet a donut wouldn't have done this to me!"