During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?"

Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony.

"Now define it," said the teacher.

Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it."

The farmers almanac has predicted a much colder winter than normal.

I have been observing squirrels and they are collecting more nuts than normal.

Which makes me wonder where my 3 cousins have disappeared to???

Never, NEVER, NEVER make your girlfriend mad...

They can remember stuff that that hasn't even happened yet!

If you feel the need to build an ARK because of all the rain, just contact me...

I NOAH guy!