Why did the dog walk into the bar?
He was looking for the person that shot his PAW.
Fresh from graduation the rookie policeman called the precinct to report his first robbery: "Chief, a man has been robbed down here and I've got one of them."
Chief: "Great job. Which one of them do you have?"
Rookie: "I have the one that has been robbed."
The neighborhood I lived in had a storm rapidly pass through.
When I returned home from work I noticed our outbuilding was gone.
Asking my wife about it, her reply was simple, "Gone with the Wind!"
My wife and I recently took a trip down Route 66. We took side trips if it looked promising. On one of these side trips we passed this quaint country store. Then we kept passing stores similar to that one.
After the third time my wife says out loud, "How many roads does a man have to drive down before he admits he's lost?"