There was a "hard boiled" foreman at a rather large construction site that was constantly urging his workers to go faster.
The men were getting tired and one day he heard someone shout, "Rome was not built in a day!"
"I know it wasn't," replied the foreman. "But that's because I was not in charge of that project. "
A couple that just moved into their new home in the suburbs were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their premises at night. So they bought the largest dog that was for sale in the kennels of a nearby dealer.
Shortly afterwards the house was entered by burglars, who made away with a good haul while the dog slept. The householder went to the kennel dealer and told him about it.
"Well, what you need now," said the dealer, "is a little dog to wake up the big dog."
Why did the singer climb the ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What does a dog say before dinner?
BONE APPETITE!