My three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.”
Since she was eating a juicy pickle at the time, I thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap. After sitting her down to finish her pickle, I asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?”
Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my pickle.”
A first-grader came to the ophthalmology office where I work to have his vision checked. He sat down and I turned off the lights.
Then I switched on a projector that flashed the letters F, Z and B on a screen. I asked the boy what he saw.
Without hesitation he replied, "Consonants."
I work for a security company that transports cash, and part of my job is to work with police if a crew is robbed. One afternoon my wife and I were packing to move, when I received a call to report to a crime scene.
"I have to go," I told my wife. "Two of our guards have been held up at gunpoint at a superstore."
As I dashed out the door, she called, "While you’re there, pick up some big cardboard boxes."
An insurance agent called our medical office. One of our doctors had filled out a medically necessary leave-of-absence form for a patient, but the agent said the patient had altered it.
The giveaway?
The return-to-work date had been changed to February 30.