A married couple are arguing back and forth about the husband's time on Facebook and Twitter.

The wife threatens, "If you continue to spend more time on Twitter and Facebook, then I will spend more time on Amazon and EBay!"

The husband goes offline immediately.

How do you feel if you see a sheepdog with a melon?

"Melon-collie."

Tom to his mom: "Mom, please tell me a story?"

Mom: "Sorry, honey, I don't have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories."

Teacher: “What is the difference between ‘Tea’ and ‘Tee’?

Student: "The first one is a drink and the second is an incorrect spelling."