A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she'd start right in on him again.

After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight."

His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?"

He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with king hi four aces."

I set aside a dollar every time a woman found me unattractive...

Now they are starting to find me attractive...

Little Johnny: "My pa is very religious. He always bows his head and says a prayer before meals."

Dick: "Mine always says something when he sits down to eat. But he does not bow his head."

Little Johnny: "What does he say?"

Dick: "Go easy on the butter, its up to a dollar and half a pound."

They decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

That night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally and once the cheers die down a little I shout out, “Do you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, “Yeah. Landa Noelle.”

Everyone starts to “Ooohhh” and “Ahhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, “How the heck are you supposed to spell Landa with no L?”