Teacher: "What's the difference between 'He cleans the plate' and 'The plate is cleaned by him'?"
Student: "In first sentence he is not married, but in second sentence he is married!"
Teacher: "Name the nation that people dislike the most?"
Little Johnny: "That's easy, it's the 'Exami-nation'!"
"Dad, I want to become a politician," said Jim.
His father asked, "And what are you doing to become one?"
"Nothing, dad."
"Good, you're halfway there then."