The inventor of the "Knock Knock" joke won a prestigious prize...

The "No Bell" prize!

Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."

Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"

Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."

A pirate walks into a pub on the mainland with an enormous rainbow feathered parrot on his shoulder. The barkeep stares at the rather intimidating bird until he finally gathers enough courage to ask the pirate about it.

He points at the pirate and says, “Where did you get that?”

“Pirate Bay,” the parrot answers, “the place is filled to the brim with ’em!”

Golfer: "You must be the world's worst caddy!"

Caddy: "No, that would be too much of a coincidence."