Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?
Husband: You are right.
Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.
Husband: I was wrong.
Son: I watched a guy do 50 push-ups in a row. Can you do that, Dad?
Dad: Of course, son. Heck, I could probably watch someone do 100 push ups.
I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday.
It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope.
Good.
They won’t be bothering me anymore.
Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.
Me: OK, and how many at night?