T-shirt is actually short for tyrannosaurus shirt.
It’s because of the small arms.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for being too un-American...
But honestly, I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
It was her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.