Sometimes I talk to myself when I'm alone and it's kinda sad.
Me too.
I can’t believe someone broke into my house and stole all of my fruit.
I am peachless.
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water.
I was like well, damn.
Her: At least invite me out to dinner.
Him: I don't go out with married women.
Her: But I'm your wife.
Him: I make no exceptions.