I don’t have a “dad bod”...
I have a father figure.
There is a guy stealing iPhones around town...
At some point he’s going to face time!
I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone...
I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in 'climate change'.
A genie granted me one wish, so I said, "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.