Robin: “The Batmobile isn’t starting!”

Batman: “Did you charge the battery?”

Robin: “What the hell is a tery?”

Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches."

Wife: "Okay, just throw them out."

[Later]

Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Dad: “Son, I named you after my father.”

After My Father: “I know, Dad, I know.”

Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?

Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.

Man: Why should I pay you so much?

Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.