Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

Because she’s always running away from the ball.

What happens when you give a Ford Fiesta Ritalin?

It turns into a Ford Focus.

I asked my doctor today how long he thought this COVID thing will last...

He said, “How should I know, I’m a doctor not a politician.”

My kids are like inmates at a jail...

They eat for free, they claim they are innocent, and they don’t like the warden.