My 5 year old: "Do trees poop?"

Me: "Of course they do, that’s how we get #2 pencils."

Teacher: Clyde, your composition about “My dog” is exactly like your brothers. Did you copy this?

Clyde: No sir. It’s the same dog.

Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password...

It’s not stroganoff!

People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell...

Come to think of it, I see why.