I got a phone call when I was in the pub,

"If you don't get home in ten minutes I'm giving the dog your dinner!"

So I went home.

I love that dog.

My nephew came over the other day and he was wearing a helmet, shoulder pads, knee pads, and gloves.

He said, "I'm gonna ride my bike!"

I said, "Where? Through a minefield?"

A reporter asked a man how he felt when he found out that he won the lottery.

“As soon I saw the numbers line up, I knew it was going to be wife changing!”

The key to happiness is low expectations.


Lower, nope lower.





Keeeeeep going...