Three college professors were playing golf in a particularly hot day when they decided to make a bet. Whoever loses a round will remove an article of clothing. By the time they got to the 9th hole they were all completely naked. Just as they were about to wear clothes, a bus carrying a group of college students came around the bend. Two of the three professors grabbed their clothes and try to cover their naked body. The third one, however, just put his clothes over his face.

After the bus passed the two professors asked the third one, “Why in the world would you cover your face? Have you no shame?”

The professors replies, “I don’t know about your classroom but in my classroom EVERYONE knows my face!”

A man was telling his friend that on one of his previous trip to New York City he parked the car to go get some coffee. When he returned someone had stolen all the hubcaps off the car.

So before he went to get a cup of coffee on his next trip to NYC, he put a sign on the windshield saying the hubcaps are registered, and therefore, cannot be sold.

His friend asks, “So, what happened when you came back, were the hubcaps there?”

The man says, “Yeah, all the hubcaps were there, but the car was gone.”

A couple were returning home after a night out. The husband forgot his keys so the wife, a little annoyed, uses her keys to try to open the door. But the lock wouldn't budge. She asked her husband to turn on the flashlight and tried it again. The lock wouldn't budge. After trying for 20 minutes, she finally hands over the keys to the husband and says, "Here, you try".

The husband inserts the key into the hole and turns. The lock opens immediately. No sooner the husband takes the key out of the locks, the wife quips, "You see... now THAT'S how you hold the light!"

A couple were taking a group tour at a crocodile park when they come across a canal riddled with crocodiles. An eccentric millionaire in the group issued a challenge. Anyone who jumps into the canal and swim across the other side will receive $1 million. If he dies either by drowning or eaten by crocodiles, his widow will get $500,000.

All of a sudden a man jumps into the canal and starts swimming. The crocodiles took after him but somehow he managed to get to the other side unscathed. He gets $1 million, as promised, and gets back to his wife. The wife excitedly says, “I know you could do it, Honey”.

The husband says, “Oh yeah? What would you have done had I died?”

With the same enthusiasm the wife replies, “I would have still got $500,000.”