Little Timmy loved his dog Laddie very much; they played together every day and Laddie was always there to greet Timmy when he came home from school.

One day, while Timmy was at school, Laddie crawled under the fence, ran out into the street and was hit by a car and killed. Timmy's mother, naturally, was very distressed, not only by the matter itself but from wondering how she was going to explain this to Timmy. As Timmy walked through the door a few moments later, his mother mustered up her courage to speak to him.

"Son, I have bad news. Laddie is dead."

Timmy paused thoughtfully for a moment, shrugged, then said, "So, what's for lunch, Ma? I'm starved."

"My, what a brave little boy you are!" his mother replies with relief. "You're certainly taking Laddie's death well."

Upon hearing this, Timmy suddenly bursts into tears, his body racking with sobs, and says, "I thought you said Daddy."

The famous pop singer Chloe Sweetsong is signing autographs outside the local concert hall of a small town when a little girl approaches her with an autograph book.

"Miss Sweetsong," the girl says. "May I have your autograph, please?"

Noticing that the girl looks familiar, Chloe says, "But haven't I signed your book before?"

"Yes," the girl replies. "But when I get ten of your autographs, I can get one of Taylor Swift's."

Little Johnny is visiting an art museum with his parents. When they enter the main room, he observes a sign reading, "ART OBJECTS."

Johnny then taps his father on the shoulder and asks, "If art objects, why is he letting everyone look at his paintings?"

A scientist, wishing to test out the theory that music had tones to sooth the savage beast, takes a plane trip to Africa. Sitting on a rock in the middle of the jungle, he begins to play classical music on a small violin. Almost immediately, a large collection of animals, lions, monkeys, elephants, zebras, rhinos, birds, leopards and the like, begin gathering around and swaying happily to the music.

Suddenly, a crocodile ambles out of the water, leaps at the scientist and catches him on the throat with its mouth, causing him to pass out from the shock. The other animals glare at the crocodile disapprovingly. "What did you do that for?" a leopard demands. "We were enjoying that."

The crocodile looks up at the group of animals and says, "I don't know about you folks, but Stravinsky's Petrushka leaves me cold."