airplane jokes

When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.

Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air
Lingus​ flight from ​Dublin​, the lead flight attendant​ nervously made the
following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has
been a terrible mix-up... one minute prior to take-off, by our catering
service..., I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers
on board, and..., unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals... I
truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.”

When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued..., "Anyone who is
kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will
receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 4 hour flight.”

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later... "If anyone would like to
change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter.

She had some time before the flights departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse.

She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie...

“Today’s investment will pay big dividends!”

The flight attendant was pointing out to passengers that their seats could be removed and used as floatation devices. One woman, on her first flight, said, “I’d prefer to be sitting on a parachute!’