bar & drinking jokes

A man walks into a bar...

...ended up getting twenty stitches on his forehead.

A man walks into a bar and sees a Polish guy, a female blonde, and a priest

The guy says to the bartender, "What is this? Some kind of joke?

A city feller was out driving in the mountains when around a curve a large mountain man stepped out and flagged him down. The city feller stopped, the mountain man got in and pulled a jar out of his coat pocket and said here take a pull out of this. The city feller said no thanks. The mountain man said no go ahead take a swig. The city feller again refused and said no I'm good. The mountain man now quite sternly demanded, I said take a drink, when the city feller once more refused the mountain man pulled a large horse pistol out of his pocket, pointed it at the city feller and roared, I said take a drink. The city feller said alright hand her here. He proceeded to take a healthy swig and for about 5 minutes he couldn't breathe, hear or see. When he finally got his wits about him, he asked the mountain man, how you can drink that stuff anyhow? The mountain man replied, I can't hardly, now you hold the gun on me and make me take a drink.

What is the difference between a good beer and a woman:

1. A good beer never goes flat.

2. A good beer never commits when between your legs.

3. A good beer never complains when you’ve had better.

4. A good beer doesn’t try to kill you when you tell it its too big.

5. You never have to impress a good beer, it loves you no matter what.