business jokes

If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place.

They put up a big bold sign which read: "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate." he stated.

"Why, yes," she replied. "Every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

"$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son must be very successful. What does he do for a living?"

"He's a veterinarian," she answered.

"That's an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

Man: Marry me?

Woman: Do you have a house?

Man: No...

Woman: Do you have a BMW car?

Man: No...

Woman: How much is your salary?

Man: No salary... but...

Woman: No but. You have nothing. How can i marry you? Please leave!

Man: (now talking to himself) I have one villa, 3 pieces of property, 3 Ferrari's, 2 Porsche's. Why I still need to buy BMW!?!?

I don't have a salary because I'm the BOSS!