kid jokes

Son: Dad, will you remember me in 5 years?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 year?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 6 months?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 month?
Dad: Yes

Son 1 week?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 5 days?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 5 hours?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 hour?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 30 minutes?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 minute?
Dad: Yes.

Son: 1 second?
Dad: Yes.

Son: Knock Knock
Dad: Who's there?
Son: See, you forgot me already!!!

Many years ago I had stopped in to bring my girlfriend some pizza while she was babysitting.

We received a call that her grandmother had been taken to the hospital, so I agreed to watch the children, so she could meet her family at the hospital.

Well, the parents were at a movie and these were the days before cell phones, so I couldn’t get in touch with them. I thought I was doing pretty well, though. At bedtime I sent the kids upstairs to bed and settled down to watch some TV.

One child kept creeping down the stairs, but I just kept sending him back to bed.

At 9 pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, asking whether her son was there.

I said, “No.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a poem, they give him $100."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a song, they give him $200."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad writes a few words, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Why do the street signs that say "SLOW CHILDREN" have a picture of running child?