money jokes

I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.

It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

A man was standing in a line at a bank to withdraw cash. After an hour his turn came and he gave his bank details to the cashier. The cashier said, "I am sorry, sir. There's no cash."

Fuming with anger, the man rushed to the manager's room and yelled at him. "You are a big bank and you don't have cash? Close my account!" he demanded.

The manager pacified the man and rushed to the cashier. Minutes later he returned and the man asked, "Did you bring my cash or you are still running out of it?"

The manager replied, "Sir, we have enough cash. Unfortunately, your account does not."

A customer goes to the bank to make a deposit.

Teller: "Sorry sir. This $100 bill is a fake one. We cannot accept it."

Customer: "What's the big deal? I'm depositing it into my account, right?"

A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?"

His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you."

The man goes, "Are my children here?"

"Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.

"Are my other relatives also here?"

And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."

The man sits up and says, "Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"