school jokes

A student decides he wants to skip school one day

Student (on phone): Hello. I am calling to inform the school that my son will not be able to attend school today.

School: And who is this?

Student: This is my mom!

On a Chemistry exam at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill.

In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular structure until the exams were handed back. L

Our teacher asked another student to read her answer. She suggested a broom and a dustpan to sweep up the spill -- and got full credit.

Teacher: You are suppose to come at 7am!

Student: What?! What happened on 7am? What did I miss?

Little Johnny's dad drove Johnny to boarding school and leaves him there. For the following week however, Johnny misses school.

When Johnny returned to school the next week the teacher asks Johnny why he had missed class for a week. Johnny replied that his dad passed away and he had to attend to his funeral.

The following week, Johnny's dad comes to visit Johnny at school and was directed to Johnny's classroom. While at the door, Johnny's dad knocks and says “Excuse me sir, I am here to see my son, Johnny. I am his dad."

Teacher surprised and confused asks, "Are you Johnny's real dad? I thought Johnny's father had passed away?" Johnny's Father is confused.

The teacher realized what was going on. So he quickly turns to the class and calls out “Johnny, your dead father is here to see you."

Johnny's heart beats faster and he grows small, but looks up to the teacher and whispers "How the heck did he came back alive."