Best Jokes

John, and avant-garde painter got married.
Someone asked the bride a few weeks after the wedding, "How's married life, Helen?"
"It's great," she answered. "My husband paints, I cook; then we try to guess whe he
painted and what I cooked."

The newlywed said to her husband. "I'm not cleaning up after you.
I'm a career woman. That means I pay other people to do housework.
"How much?"
"Eight dollars and hour. Take it or leave it"

A college professor walked into a bas and said, “Bring me a martinus.”
The bartender smiled and said, “You mean martini?”
“If I want more than one,” snapped the professor, “I’ll order them”

Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"