Latest Jokes

Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks, one says to the other, ”I bet you didn’t know about the updrafts between these skyscrapers. They are so strong, you could jump and the wind will lift you right back where you started.”

The other guy said, “Nah, I find that hard to believe.”

The first said, “It’s true! I’ll prove it. Let’s go out to the balcony.”

They both walk to the balcony and the first guy jumps the rail. After a few seconds, a loud whooshing sound is heard and sure enough, the first guy lands back on the balcony.

The second guy just stares for a while, then looks over the side to see if there was a platform or net. “This has to be some kind of trick.”

The first guy says, “No really, it works!” To prove it, he once again jumps the rail and the same thing happens. “You try it!”

The second guy jumps over the rail and falls the many stories to the pavement below.

The first guy goes back in a sits at the bar.

The bartender walks over, delivers another drink and says, “Wow! You’re really mean when you get drunk, Superman!”

This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he is looking at. He replied: I’ve got a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she begins to look good I know I have had enough.

How do you make a tissue dance?

A: You put a little boogie in it!

Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season.

Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of signing each one.

Soon we started getting cards from friends signed "The Modest Morrisons,"

"The Clever Clarks," and "The Successful Smiths."

Then it hit me.

I had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with "Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs."