Latest Jokes

As I was watching my 12 year old son putting a model car together and getting more frustrated by the minute until he was screaming. I walked in the kitchen and calmly said
“Tom" you know what they say about patience and he looked up at me and said "I know Mom patience is a VIRGIN" I just smiled and said well yes you could say that too.

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One and Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again.”

A little old lady was among a group at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. “What on earth,” she inquired of the artist standing nearby, “is that?”

He smiled condescendingly. “That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.”

“Well, then” snapped the little old lady, “why isn’t it?”

Two roofers, Larry and Joe, were on the roof laying tile, when a sudden win gust came and knocked down their ladder.

“I have an idea,” said Larry. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.”

"What, do you think, that I’m stupid?" replied Joe. “I have and idea! I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.”

Larry wasn't having it. "What, do you think that I’m stupid? You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m halfway down.”