Latest Jokes

A Policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver, "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, 'sixty-five at least.'”

"SIXTY-FIVE!" shrieked the woman.

"Yes, sixty-five."

"I don’t think that is quite fair. I think this hat makes me look older."

Heaven is a place where:
The lovers are Italian
The cooks are French
The mechanics are German
The police are English, and
The government is run by the Swiss

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don't look I'm changing!

An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, "Well, you've got some problems, all right, but if you'd give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you'd last a good while longer."
"But Doc," answered the man, "I don't smoke, drink, or chase women."
"Oh," replied the doctor, "I'm sorry."
Moral: Keep some vices to give up in your old age.