A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."
The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue helicopter and tells him to climb the ladder up, but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."
The man is now getting tired but thankfully a dolphin swims under him and starts to carry him to shore, but the man pushes the dolphin away saying, "I have faith, God will save me."
The man dies and goes to Heaven. He asks God, "Why didn't you save me?"
God replies, "I tried! I sent a ship, a helicopter and a dolphin!"
What did Dracula said about his new girlfriend?
Oh, she is my love at first bite!
One day teacher asked Sam if his father helped him with his homework.
Sam simply said - “No, he did it all by himself”!
A new neighbour called the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on the road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here. I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."