Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."
Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: "Who just threw that?"
Boy: "Me, and now I’m going home."