How do you identify a bald eagle?
All his feathers are combed over to one side.
A man in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are Bullies!"
A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back, "I move to STRIKE!"
The first guy asked, "Are you a lawyer?"
The second guy responded, "No, I'm a BULLY!"
- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
- You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.
- Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.