Do you work at Dick's?
Cause you're sporting the goods.
There is something wrong with my cell phone...
It doesn't have your number in it.
I told my wife that there is only one thing that scares me on Halloween.
My wife: Which is?
Me: Exactly!
During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII.
“We have regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”