It was a very long and boring sermon.
As one parishioner left the church, he said: "Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God."
The pastor was thrilled: "Really? Tell me why."
"Because it endured forever."
Me: My tire's making a whistling sound.
Mechanic: Sounds like a flat.
Me: More like an F sharp.
I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"
I replied, "Not at all."
"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."