I visited a haunted house today and my friends fled in terror.
I've been to this place for the last 271 years and haven't seen a single ghost.
A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."
"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."
"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."
During an interview, the young lady interviewing for the position was surprised to hear the HR manager say he was looking for someone "to do the work of six men."
The lady replied: "That's a shame. I was looking for a full time job."
The well known concert pianist agreed to listen to a friend's daughter play the piano. He was a very polite man and didn't make a wry face, even though he wanted to.
"Do you think I should go to the conservatory in Paris?" she asked after she had finished.
"It can't hurt," he replied hastily. "There are many eligible bachelors there."