While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive, single man. It was a relief since my mother and I always laughed at the fact that the men I was drawn to were inevitably married.
So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living.
He replied, “I’m a priest.”
I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it.
"Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.
Thrilled, he yelled back, "That depends, will HE take me to the zoo?"
The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm giving everyone a check for $5,000!”
Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.
“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks!”