My wife is turning 32 soon and I told her not to get her hopes up... “After all, the celebration is only going to last half a minute.”
Confused, she asked, “What are you talking about?”
I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”
A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for
selling his land. So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses
where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am." said the man.
"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one
would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."
"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.
"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.
My school had it’s own coroner.
We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...”
I asked a supermarket worker where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see" and walked away.
He never came back. When I saw another supermarket worker, I asked him. He said, "I'll see" and walked away. He never came back either.
I got tired of waiting and started looking up and down every aisle. I finally found them.
They were in Aisle C.