A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 foot motor-home, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he or she fits in the cannon."
Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz
Dad: What? How?
Little Johnny: I missed the only question
Dad: What was the question?
Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire?
Dad: And what did you say?
Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!!
It's the 10th anniversary of Herman Mendelbaum's death and his widow decides to make a pilgrimage to the cemetery to recite a prayer over his grave and place a small stone to show that he is remembered.
She arrives at the cemetery, but it being a while since she had been there, she is confused and cannot find poor Herman's grave site. Finally, she comes across a grounds-keeper who escorts her to a small chapel on the cemetery grounds where the records are kept.
The grounds-keeper, after pouring over large maps and lists, finally turns to the widow and says, "I can find no record of a Herman Mendelbaum buried here. The closest I can find is a Sadie Mendelbaum."
"That's him!" she exclaims. "He always put everything in my name..."
Joe says to Bill, "Want to see a picture of my aunt?"
Bill said, "Sure."
So Joe takes out a picture.
Bill says, "What are you talking about? That's not your aunt! That's a picture of a fish!"
Joe says, "Well sure it is... it's my Aunt Chovy!"