A football fan's wife says, "I hate it when my husband calls leftovers 'Replays'."
A TV Executive's wife says, "Well my husband calls them 'Reruns'."
Mortician's wife says, "Count yourselves lucky, my husband calls them remains!"
How many unemployed actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six. One to screw it in and the rest to say they could've done it better.
One day a college student comes home for spring break, and he and his dad start a conversation.
"So how are your classes?" Asks the father.
"Good."
"How is the football team playing this year?"
"Okay."
"Making new friends?"
"Some."
"What are you thinking of majoring in?"
"Communications."