Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?
Husband: You are right.
Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.
Husband: I was wrong.
Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.”
The judge keeps asking, “Well why didn’t you take a bus?”
Mr. Jones looks up, surprised, “Don’t you need a special license to drive the bus?”
The doctor says to his patient at the end of a checkup, “Okay, let’s do a stress tolerance test."
"What's that Doc?" asked the patient.
"Nurse, the bill please!”
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.