Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see "Closed for the Winter".
I tried to get into a trendy New York nightclub last night.
The doorman said to me, "Sorry sir, you've had too many."
Confused, I replied, "What, drinks?"
"No, sir, birthdays!"
Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his room recently.
In the corner was a milk jug with a few coins in it and a label that read: "Condo Down Payment"
Neighbor: "How old is your father?"
Boy: "As old as me."
Neighbor: "How can that be?"
Boy: "He became a father when I was born."