Why are cats such good bakers?
Because they make everything from scratch.
What is the difference between dogs and marine biologists?
One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale.
What do you have to do to win gold at the weather forecasting competition?
I’ve heard you have to beat the raining champion!
When you're 65 and you go out to dinner and say, "It's on me..."
You really mean it!