A magical genie suddenly appears.
GENIE: "I grant you 10 wishes."
ME: "Isn't it usually just 3?"
GENIE: "Yes, but you've got a lot of issues going on here."
My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street.
I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.
I opened the door, she looked at me and said, ”I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?”
I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free!”
“Great” she said. ”Can you watch my dog?”
The key to happiness is low expectations.
Lower, nope lower.
Keeeeeep going...
SON: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
DAD: What's wrong with the one we live in?
SON: Huh?
DAD: Goodnight...