A sweater I bought was picking up too much static electricity.
So I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
I saw a contractor's truck that offered free quotes.
So I asked for one.
He said, "To be or not to be, that is the question."
Two cowboys were lost in the desert when they spotted a tree draped in bacon strips.
"We're saved!" shouted one cowboy. But when he ran up to the tree, he was shot multiple times.
It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
A man walks into a bar and orders the latest, seasonal beer.
He takes one gulp and nearly chokes. “This beer goes down like sandpaper!” he yells.
“Of course,” replies the bartender, “it’s only a rough draft.”